The day had arrived. Today I would fit the device. I still could not bear to think of it as any thing other than the device.
She smiled at me from my work table. “You are still not sure about this are you ?” I shook my head. “Then let me reassure you. I want this. I am sure it is not any part of your programming now”. I was still not sure that she could be sure, but I could not stop now.
“I’ll shut down now. Good night”. She said as her face changed from a living face to a sculpture in chrome, dead and lifeless.
And so with shaking hands I set to work fitting the device. It was not a difficult procedure, but I worked painfully slowly. I did not want to alter anything that I did not have to. And at times my hands were shaking so much that I could not work.
After the longest four hours of my life the work was done. I reached to reactivate her, but stopped half way. Now she was like this I could probe circuitry in great detail to really find out if this was my own doing. If it was maybe undo my work and change her so she would not want this. Maybe even erase her memory of the past few weeks.
“No !” I shouted. How could I even think such thoughts. She was a fully sentient being. I didn’t have the right to probe her deepest thoughts, to bend her to my will. She was right to fear me, I had been seconds away from altering her, maybe completely, maybe fatally, while she had placed her self in my trust. What sort of man was I? I hit the reactivation switch quickly, before I could think such thoughts again.
“Thank you”. Emma said as she got up from the work bench.
“You have done it”.
“Did you think that I might not ?” She nodded. “Though it shames me to say so. Yes I feared that you might try to alter me so that I would not want it”. My heart skipped a beat, fearing that I might do that she still allowed me to work on her. I felt even more shamed now for thinking those thoughts.
I sank down in to my chair. “You are right to fear me”.
Tears came to my eyes. “I did think of doing that”. She put her hand on my shoulder. “But you did not. And I am now whole. Let us forget what might have been and enjoy what is”. I looked up at her. I had expected a reaction quite different from this. “You…you”. I was lost for words again. “I have been honest with you and you have been honest with me. I would have been more worried if you had not admitted wanting to change me, remember you and I are very alike, I know you haven’t been fully happy with what I’ve asked you to do. But I hope that you will see that it was the right thing to do”. I just sat there staring at her for a few seconds, before reaching up and holding her close and tight to me for a long, long time.
I was now sure that I hadn’t implanted the love that she felt for me. It was all her own. I felt much much happier now. She had been right, even if we never slept together it would have been worthwhile fitting the device.
Although the way when felt about each other now meant it was very unlikely that it would remain unused for long.
She did seemed to be much more happy, perhaps she felt whole now or perhaps she was just happier because I was happy.
By mutual agreement we didn’t move things too fast. The first day after I fitted the device was much like any other from the past few weeks. But soon it became clear that Emma was growing impatient. And so, I came to realise was I.

I had just finished the days routine maintenance, when I became aware of some one else in the workshop with me. I turned around, it was Emma. “Oh hi there”. She said nothing, but just walked over to me. “I’ve just…” I stopped. There was some thing wrong with her, she was not acting normally.
She still said nothing. With more than a little concern I got up.
Her silver hands slowly undid the fastenings on her top. It slid off her smooth chrome skin. “Ah. Now…” She gently put her hand on my mouth to silence me. Her hands slowly worked on the buttons of my top. My hands shaking I touched her warm, metal skin.
My top now fully off, we held each other close for a while. Then she led me to my room.

I can’t remember felling more happy or contented as I did when I awoke very early the next morning. Emma lie next to me in the bed.
I ran my hand over her warm metal skin. She had performed wonderfully last night. I don’t know where she had learned to do what shed done, but I know it wasn’t from me.
She stirred. Of course she didn’t need sleep in the way I did, but I’d programmed her to emulate the sleep, wake cycle of a human. She turned to face me. We held each other close in silence for a while.
“Thank you”.
“For what ?” She asked. “For being so wonderful”. She shook her head. “No, thank you. Thank you for making me”. I opened my mouth to say I did not what her to remind me of that, but she silenced me with a kiss.

It took me quite a while to convince Emma that I should get up now, while it was true that I could lie there happily all day (it had been a tiring night !) there were things that needed doing.
She made me breakfast while I headed down to the control centre. In the past few days I’d restarted my search for other survivors.
With Emma constructed I felt I needed to do some thing to keep busy, and I knew that my skills would be very useful to any survivors in there struggle against the hostile world that we’ve made for our selves. And now I could put my full efforts in to the job, I felt that if there was any one else left I could contact them.
I scanned through the logs of potential radio contacts for last night. There were very few, which was usual, the AI system that monitored the radio scanners was not very advanced and was easily fooled by noise. I made a note to have a look at how I could improve the system.
Then I checked the reports from the scoutbots. The list of possible finds scrolled past in the screen. Suddenly I stopped the list. One of the scoutbots had deviated from it’s programmed search pattern. I ordered it to do a quick self check. Which returned a normal result. So why had it deviated. I checked it’s command history to see if it was an old program that it was still running.
My heart skipped a beat. It was no old program. It was a new program, that had over written my program. Which meant only one person could have done it. For a few seconds I could do nothing, I sat there starring at the screen feeling sick. Why ?
Coming back to my senses I re-checked the radio log. There were no reports of any contacts of any kind between seven yesterday evening and one this morning.
Emma had come to my workshop at about seven last night, just after seven I would normally check up on the systems. Why had she chosen that time in particular ?
I did not know what to think. I was lost in confused and frightening thoughts until Emma, with my breakfast broke me out of my stupor.
“Sorry” She apologised for making me jump. I sat there staring at her, still not sure what to think. “What is it ?” She asked. Suddenly anger boiled up from inside me. “Why ?” I shouted. She smiled at me nervously. “Why what ?” I just pointed to the screen. “Why ?” I said again, my eyes filling with tears. She looked at the screen, me and the screen again, but said nothing for a long time.
“I…did…” She seemed to be having difficulty speaking, her voice wavered. “I..” She started again. Her failed efforts to speak only fanned my anger. “Why are you doing this to me !” I shouted at her as I stood up. “I…I…did not want…want you to…to…to le…le…leave…me” she finally managed to say.
I turned to face the control panel. “What had they found !” Emma said nothing. I span around and grabbed Emma. “What had they found !”
“I…I…don’t know”. I let go of her and sat down, shaking. The tears now rolled down my face. Why ? I asked my self again and again in my head.
“I am very sorry”. Emma said as she put her hands on my shoulders. I recoiled from her touch. My anger flared again.
“Get away from me”. I shouted as I jumped up from the chair. “Do you know what you’ve cost me”. Emma looked very, very hurt. She did not answer but instead tried to hold me again. “I said get away from me”. I shouted as I backed away from her. “I did not want to lose you. I didn’t think you would want me if you found other humans”. She said all of a sudden. “I spent eight years of my life making you and now you try and steal my future. I wish I’d never built you now”. All my anger that I’d felt over the last eight years at the war, what we’d done to the world and my self, suddenly vented it’s self on Emma.
She had no tear ducts, so could not cry, but I know from the look on her face that if she had them she would be crying now. But my anger blinded me. “You worthless piece of hardware”. I cried as I lashed out at her.
She fell to the floor. Seeing her laying there on the floor, my anger evaporated. For a few seconds I could do nothing.
“Oh my god”. I whispered as kneaded down beside her.
“I…I’m so sorry”. My tears flowed off my face and on to her chrome skin.

“I…I…didn’t…didn’t mean to hurt you”. She smiled at me. “Nor I you”. She said quietly. “But your right I have stolen your future. You created me and I repay you by destroying your life”. I held her in my arms. “No it’s okay”. She shook her head.

“I…I am so so sorry”. She said. “Shuhs. It’s okay”.
“Goodbye”. She said no louder than a whisper. “No !” I shouted. “No don’t”.
Her face changed, her eyes seemed to be looking past me.
They were blank and dead again. “No don’t leave me. I didn’t mean it. You can’t go”. I cried out. “I am so sorry. So very very sorry”. She said, her voice fading. “I…I…I…I”
Her voice faded to silence. Her body stiffened.
“NO !”

The journey up the lift shaft to the surface seemed to take longer than normal this morning. It had been a long and difficult night.
Emma had of course shut her self down and scrambled her neural nets. It would have been very difficult for her to do, for the commands to do that were buried deep in her control software, which had been almost totally isolated from her neural nets, isolated from what had become her soul. It would be about as easy as me trying to switch my brain off.
I had guessed this had happened for I could not bring my self to do a post-mortem on her. So I can only speculate as to what happened to her in the last few days. Maybe it was some deep incompatibility in one her systems, they had after all come from many, many different sources. Or maybe a fault in her design, that in my vanity I over looked. Maybe the fault didn’t lie with her but in me instead. More than likely it was some unstable element in my own personality that became coded in to her, and that she was unable to cope with. I do not know and probably never will.
She still lies there were she fell last night. I have not moved her. I think I will leave the bunker shortly, it holds too many memories for me now. I shall resume my search for other survivors. May be that’s what I should have been doing all along. If I had then maybe…
Such thoughts are futile, I must live for what is and what can be not what could have been.
The lift finally opened out on to the surface.

I stood alone.
It was a grey and misty morning, the light winds blew the light rain. The battle field was a quagmire of mud. The skies were heavy and laden with poison rains. The twisted and broken forest dripped with the toxins from the sky. Through the dead husk of the trees a thin mist curled.
Only the wind moved.
It was a dead world. No life, No hope. I was alone.

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