The monastery is an idea that I’ve been working on in form or another for probably 10 years!
The version you’ll find here is the first completed version and is version 4. The work on this version probably only, covers about a year and half of that time. The pervious 3 versions (of which version 1 I have sadly lost) got to probably less than half way each time.
Despite the amount of time I’ve working on this, I still only consider this the first draft. I was effectively written in two parts separated by maybe a year and so the ideas I started working on in the first part had changed by the time I’m came to the second. Also the style might be a little uneven.
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Read online part 1 below, (part 2 and afterword)
The first bell chimed. The cold, bright early morning sun light beamed in through the window. I along with the many hundreds of acolytes in the monastery arose at the first chimes. The stone walls and floors never got warm, even in the height of summer, but then the summers weren’t that warm at this altitude.
The suns early light just peaked over the tops of the lower mountains as we rose and prepared for the morning service. It was a wonderful if chilly sight to see first hand. There was little time to appreciate it since the morning service started at the second chime and lateness would lead to punishment.
We all hurried through our morning ablutions and headed down the to temple hall for the morning service.
The temple hall was the heart of the monastery. It was a huge chamber carved in to the rock of the mountain side. It was big enough to hold everyone in the monastery. Twice a day it did just that.
The hierarchy of the monastery was laid out in coloured concentric circles in the chamber. The high priests in their white robes in the centre. Surrounding them the overseers formed a thin red line. Next comes a thicker yellow line of the supervisors. Then the thickest band of all, the blue’s of the acolytes, this was the band I was in. Finally around the outside a very thin black line of the guardians. Symbolically and practically protecting all of us.
Then seated separately, to show the isolation they must have to do there job where the grey robes of the watchers. It was the watchers and the watchers alone that carried out the cleansing’s. They where outside of the hierarchy of the monastery answering only to the sacred words of the statues.
The second bell signalled the start of the morning service.
After the service we filed out to the refectory. Breakfast would be finished by the third bell and we had to be at work by the fourth bell. I spotted my old friend Tobias, in the large refectory hall. We exchanged the ritual greeting of our order, then sat down to our breakfast. “You are back in the libraries in the east wing today then?” I asked.
“Yes, I am”. He replied flatly.
“I’ll be there today as well, after my cleansing. Maybe we will meet in the stacks”.
“You never know, we might”. Tobias didn’t seem his normal self this morning. “Are you feeling okay?” I asked.
“Yes, I’m fine” He sounded a little brighter, but it was just for show I knew. What was wrong with him? A nagging worry surfaced in my mind.
“It was your cleansing yesterday wasn’t it”. Tobias looked worried. “Yes it was”. He looked around nervously. “It was…hard”.
The worry in my mind, grew to full blown nervousness. It was my cleansing today! “What happened?” I asked before I realised what I’d done. Tobias looked at me in horror. It was forbidden to ask about another’s cleansing. The shock was obvious in Tobias’s voice. He hissed, “You can not ask such things”.
Taken aback by both my own mistake and Tobias’s reaction to it I started to eat my breakfast. As I did it occurred to me that it was strange that we should not be able to talk about our regular cleansing’s.
“Why?” I asked. “Why are we not allowed to talk of our cleansing’s?” Tobias looked very worried now, he scanned the room. I knew he was looking for guardians. It was a forbidden subject, only ever be discussed with your cleanser.
“It is not right to ask questions of this nature. Our faith in the work the is all important. The cleansing’s keep us focused on the great work and prevent us from wondering from the path”. Tobias quoted verbatim from the statues.
I returned to my breakfast, still worried about the cleansing. Why should we not talk of it. What happens? It was then that it struck me. I didn’t know, yet I had been through many during my time here. Was this the reason we couldn’t talk of them, we couldn’t remember the cleansing. I tried hard to remember anything about any of my cleansing’s, but I couldn’t recall one detail. I could only remember the feeling afterwards. A feeling of great relief, that a great weight had been lifted from me.
“Worry not my friend, you will feel much better after your cleansing”. Tobias said as he stood up. I must have looked worried to him, and I was. “These worries are only natural. The cleansing will clear your mind of such things”.
The refectory was emptying, the fourth bell would ring soon. Then it would be time for my cleansing.
I headed down the central corridor, bound for the watchers chambers and my cleansing. My mind was filled with worries and doubts.
If the cleansing was for our own good, why is it forbidden to talk about it? Why should it be that I can only talk about it at another cleansing? And how could I talk about it if I can’t remember anything about it?
I knew I would feel so much better after the cleansing, but strangely that didn’t seem to be much comfort here and now. After my cleansing I would forget these thoughts, but then if these thoughts made me feel this way, then surely not remembering them would be a good thing?
Was our job here not to preserve knowledge? What could be so dangerous about knowing what happened in the cleansing? This worried me, but I knew once the cleansing was over I would feel normal and happy once again. So the cleansing must be a good thing. Even so I worried that afterwards I could be a different person, that afterwards I wouldn’t remember how I felt right now. But I would be happy, wasn’t that more important?
I drew ever closer to the watches chambers as I worried about these things. Suddenly I had an idea. I turned off the central corridor and walked quickly to one of the writing halls. It was here that we made copies of the many books in our great libraries, where the great work of our order was carried out.
I entered the large chamber. As I had hoped there where many acolytes here hard at work in the many wooden cubicles that filled the room. At the far end the supervisors monitored the flow of work and acolytes.
I was just another blue robe in among many, my entry and quick exit would not be noticed, I hoped. The room had what I needed, parchment, ink and pens. Here I could quickly write down my feelings right now. After the cleansing I might not be able to remember it or how I felt right now, but I could read my words and may be then I might remember something of the cleansing.
I Sat in a cubical and quickly wrote. I did not have much time, I was already late for the cleansing. If I was much later I could be punished. But this was important to me. I had to remember how I felt right now. May be this knowledge would make my next cleansing easier.
After a few minutes of frantic writing I stood up and left the cubical. And I looked straight in to the face of a guardian. He was walking down the rows of cubicles looking in to each as he passed. Our eyes met for a second. Quickly I looked away. That could have been a mistake, what if he took that as a sign of what I was up to. May be they knew already and he was here to take me away for punishment. I had talked of a forbidden subject in the refectory hall, had a guardian over heard me?
I realised I’d been standing still for a few seconds now and the guardian was still walking towards me. This was again a mistake. I quickly walked towards him. Trying to avoid looking at the black robed figure while at the same time watching for any signs from him.
I passed him with out anything happening. I walked as calmly as I could towards the door back to the central corridor. I could not look back, but I wanted to. I wanted to see what the guardian was doing, was he following me? Was looking in the cubical I’d been working in? Was he going to talk to the supervisors in the hall?
I reached the door from the hall. No voices had been raised. The guardian was just on his normal patrol. I had done it. I had saved on the parchment in my hands my thoughts and feelings now, before the cleansing.
The sudden rush of relief I felt after escaping the attentions of the guardian was just as suddenly washed away by a wave of apprehension. It was time for my cleansing now.
The first bell chimed. It was morning again. I winced at the bright sunshine that poured in through the window, my head ached. My cleansing was yesterday and I was still suffering the effects.
I shook my head to clear it and got up. I would be back at work in the library today.
In the refectory I met Tobias again. I remembered talking to him yesterday but I couldn’t remember what it had been about. It seemed to me that it could have been important, but it was gone now. He seemed to be happier this morning anyway.
“It seems warmer this morning”. Tobias said cheerfully as I sat down beside him.
“I’d not noticed it being any less chilly today, but then I didn’t come from the mountains like you did. You never seem to feel the cold”.
He nodded with a smile. I still had the thought in the back in my mind that we had talked about something important yesterday, but I couldn’t remember what it was. Tobias hadn’t mentioned anything important, so maybe it wasn’t important.
“Did we talk about anything important yesterday at breakfast?” I asked him.
For a moment he seemed a little worried. He looked around quickly then said very quietly, “You where worried about your cleansing yesterday”. I nodded. Then in his normal voice he said. “You look much better now”.
I nodded again. “Yes I feel a lot better today”.
“The cleansing removes the doubt and worry so we may work at our great task”. Tobias quoted from the holy book.
The forth bell chimed at it was time for us to return to the libraries and continue our great work.
While the temple hall was the heart of the monastery, the library was the reason the monastery existed. It was not a single room like the temple hall, no single room could be big enough to hold all of the books. There where many 100′s of rooms, some of them almost as large as the temple hall. All where filled with books and it was our great work to catalogue, index, sort and to summarise all of the millions of words held here.
My job to day involved indexing a collection of books deep down on the north west side of the library. This was far from the well travelled parts of the library. I headed through the commonly used parts of the library passing hundreds of my fellow blue robed acolytes. The galleries of the library where busy here, the stone floors worn smooth and shiny by generations of traffic. But as I descended I passed fewer and fewer acolytes.
My foot steps now echoed in the silence of the corridor. I was now on the lowest level of the north west side. I passed just 1 other acolyte here, we exchanged the ritual greeting of the order and I headed onwards to the outer edge where the 5 volumes I had to index lay.
It was cooler here to, with out the continual comings and goings of warm bodies there was nothing to lift the chill of the mountain air. I thrust my hands in my pockets to keep them warm. There my fingers felt a roll of parchment.
Odd, I thought, if this was from yesterdays work then why wasn’t it mentioned that I had missed something? And it was forbidden to use the tools of our great work for anything but the work.
I warped my hand around the roll of parchment, but didn’t take it out of my pocket. If a guardian saw me do this there would be questions asked for sure. I looked around, there was no one else near by, it was probably just me and the other acolyte I’d passed this far down. Even still I hesitated as I slowly drew the scroll out.
It must have been from yesterdays work and the supervisor must have missed it as well. That was his mistake, I would not be punished for reporting this.
Scroll in hand I finally arrived at the gallery which held the books I would be working on this morning. The scroll from yesterday was more important now. I needed to find out which book this had come from so I could take it back to the supervisor for that section.
I opened the scroll and read it.
It was not the missing part of some work I had indexed, but instead words of hearsay from my own hand. If a supervisor or worse a guardian where to see this, I could be expelled from the order. On the parchment I was questioning why we could not talk of the cleansing and why we can’t remember what happens in it. I knew I had been cleansed yesterday but I could not remember what had happened during the cleansing.
My words on the parchment seemed to suggest a very unhappy person, yet now I was much happier, so maybe the loss of that memory was a good thing. If was happier without it, how could that be bad?
I sat down at the work table in the gallery, now troubled. Again if a guardian where to see me now I would be in trouble. But I didn’t care about that right now.
They had taken some of my memories, something that was mine. They might have been making me unhappy, but those memories where mine. Whatever the intension of the cleansing it now made me angry.
I should be the one that choses how I feel. They shouldn’t be able to change me like that! I realised that if a guardian could see in to my head, I would be expelled with out hesitation. But that was my point, in the privacy of my own head I could think what I liked.
I stood up angry. This was not right!
More calmly now I thought, but what can I do?
I could leave the order.
I was now deeply troubled. I could not do the work that was assigned to me today and that alone would be grounds for serious punishment.
I looked around the gallery, the book shelves, the cold stone walls, the work table and chair. What can I do?
Suddenly I saw something move. I caught the movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned to face it. There was nothing there, just a stone wall.
But then the wall moved slightly. I blinked in surprise and took a step back. The wall can’t have just moved, it’s solid stone!
I took a step towards the wall and raised my hand to touch it. Before my fingers touched it, the wall moved ever so slightly. It’s surface rippled and simmered slightly. I pulled my hand back.
The wall was moving!
As I watched the surfaced rippled again and it started to glow. The ripples expanded in rings like the ripples on a pond when a stone is dropped in. The surface of the stone was becoming transparent. Impossibly there was something inside the wall trying to get out.
I watched with horrified fascination as a softly glowing semitransparent tentacle broke through the surface of the wall. The tentacle pressed down on the surface of the wall as if to pull it’s self from the wall. More tentacles emerged.
They to pressed on the wall and lifted the body of what ever it was free of the walls surface. The thing was a geometric shape, like a crystal, it’s edges sharp and angular. And like a crystal it was transparent, but it was filled with a softly pulsing glow. From each face of the crystal extended a tentacle.
The thing now free of the wall seemed to stop and take in it’s surroundings. I dare not move. It might not see me if I stay perfectly still.
I realised this was not going to work as the thing turned to face me. I don’t know how I knew it was looking at me, I just knew it was.
I started to turn and run away, but as I did a tentacle lashed out and rapped it self around my left wrist. As I turned, it pulled and I span around to face the thing. More tentacles wrapped around my body. It held me fast.
It drew closer to me. As it did the glow inside it seemed to brighten. The edge of the crystal body touched my chest and continued inwards. I did feel any pain, just a feeling inside me.
The glow now filled my vision. The crystal right before my face was now dazzling in brightness. Then suddenly the light faded from the crystal shape and it’s tentacles fell to the floor. They shattered, silently on impact and the fine white powder that was left quickly faded to nothing.
It was gone. I looked around me and then fell to the floor.
I’m not sure how long I lay there on the floor, before sounds of movement brought me to my senses. The sound of footsteps approaching echoed in from the corridor. I stood up quickly, if this was a supervisor or worst still a guardian I would be in trouble. To be found in the library and not working on the allotted task would lead to punishment. Even if it where another acolyte, he could and should inform his supervisor. Despite what had just happened, I could not be found like this.
I grabbed a book from the shelve and quickly placed it on the table.
A figure dressed in the blue robes of an acolyte stepped hesitantly in to the room. I did not know the acolyte, but as expected we exchanged the ritual greeting of our order.
He seemed slightly nervous, to me. I don’t know why, but I hoped he didn’t see my nervousness. Why would he? He did not know me, I was just another brother in the order, just as he was to me.
“Unusual to meet another acolyte so deep in the galleries”. I said, trying to sound calm.
“It is…it is in deed”. With that he hurried on down to the end of the gallery.
I worried about this for a few moments, but I realised I had far more to worry about. What had happened to me? What was I going to do now?
With another acolyte near by all I could do was to complete my task. Maybe I should report this to my supervisor, it could be something significant to the order. But then what might they do to me, there are stories of…
No, something told me that this was important but that I should keep it to my self. Such thoughts where odd, for me. This is not the way of the order, but I felt something…different about the order now.
I completed my task some time later and left the gallery. The other acolyte was still working there when I left. As I did I was sure he was watching me. Could he have seen what had happened. Surely not. No I was just a little shaken up by the strange events and was worrying overly. Nonetheless I couldn’t shake the feeling that he knew something had happened to me.
I walked down the central corridor. It was oddly quiet and empty for the time of day. It should have been filled with acolytes going about there tasks towards the great work, but it was all but empty. Just my self and another acolyte some way behind me. Or at least I thought it was an acolyte. I’d not seen him clearly and he seemed to be keeping to the deep shadows in the corridor.
Why should another member of my order be hiding from me? Could it be the acolyte I’d met in that distant part of the library just after…after what ever had happened to me. But why would he follow me? If he had his suspicions, that statutes where clear, he would have to go to a supervisor, who then would have to go to a guardian.
Just as I should have done to report what had happened in the library. I had not, so maybe he had not. But had he even seen anything of what happened?
I had been worrying so much about this that I had not noticed that I had walked in to the domain of the watchers. It was forbidden for me to be here if I where not going for my cleansing and I was not due for another 7 days.
If I where found here, I would really be in trouble. I looked behind me, was the acolyte still there?
There was no sign of him anywhere. I quickly turned to leave, but something caught my eye. The door to one of the cleansing cells was ajar, from the narrow opening light spilled out in to the corridor. It was not the bright light of the sun, nor was it the gentle flickering of a candle, no this was a very different kind of light.
With horror I realised I’d seen this before. It was the same slowly pulsing, blue white light that had come from the…thing in the library. I knew I should leave as quickly as possible, just to be here now, was a gross violation of the statutes. But what I was thinking of doing next was worse.
To view another’s cleansing was unthinkable, but thats what I was thinking of doing. With horror I realised, I was approaching the door. I was going to look in.
Very carefully I looked through the gap between the door and the frame. All I could see was the wall, lit by the strange pulsing blue white light. I should have left then, but I needed to know what was happening in there.
I slowly pushed the door open. This was madness! I knew there was no way I could get away with this, but I had to see what was happening in there. I wanted to know.
The door was now fully open. The cell was very small, barely big enough for the wooden bench in it’s centre. Strapped down to the bench was an acolyte, his head was turned away from me and looking at the grey robed watcher which stood against the far wall. Floating above the acolyte was the same multi sided geometric shape that I’d seen in the library. A semi translucent tentacle came from each face of the shape and seemed to merge with parts of the acolytes writhing body.
I knew the watcher could see me now, but I stood there transfixed by what I saw. The acolytes head suddenly turned around to face me…
